All I wanted was a date!
by Galvantula866
Summary: Skullmageddon's thoughts on what went wrong after the events of Double Dragon Neon.


**Disclaimer: All Double Dragon characters, places and themes are the property of Million. I don't wish to make any money off of doing this story. I'm only doing this because Double Dragon Neon kicks ass!  
**

**AN:** This story is basically Skullmageddon narrating on what he did right and wrong during the events of Double Dragon Neon.

I honestly didn't expect the Lee brothers to chase me down to my home dimension and...well, they pretty much just kicked my ass from one end to the other with those stupid powers of theirs. That alone wouldn't have been that bad if Marion wasn't at the lowest level waiting to punch my manhood. I do understand that a woman has her rights and I respect those rights. It's just that when she kicked me in the face for, oh, I don't know, about an hour or so you really can't blame me for doing what I had to do.

Plus Marion looked kinda hot as Evil Marion. Heh heh. Fashion isn't one of my stronger points but I do have some skill in figuring out what looks good on a woman.

It all started when a few of my hired goons saw a young woman with grace, beauty and both a fine set of legs and a mane of blonde hair that took my breath away when they relied the data to yours truly. When we later found out that she is a master of the art of _Sōsetsuken _ that sealed the deal. I was in love and naturally I went over to the dojo/garage that she and those blaster Lee Brothers lived in.

You'd think that being the greatest criminal mastermind in the city would have made Marion fall in love with me on the spot. One look at my face and she kicked my ass past a city block or two. A sore tushie has never stopped love before and with luck on my side I had a few of my Williams capture the fair maiden and sprit her to my humble abode.

The punch-drunk Billy and Jimmy Lee found out sooner than I would have liked and knowing of my rule over this shiny city they took it upon themselves to 'free' the land they called home from my grip.

If those bozos had stopped and paid better attention they would had known that I stabilized the economy, gave the people bright, shiny lights and well, pretty much ran the place like a boss! So there was no freedom, but that's only for toy robots and those guys from that book about the TVs that brainwashed people into having bro brother complexes. I think it was called "1999" or some damn thing, I can never remember these types of things even if my life depended on me.

By the end of the weekend I lost a cool palace, a kickass android, a expensive battle tank (How did they even damage the damn thing at all?), a laboratory and the love of my life or as close to it as a undead badass can get to it without sounding like a corny fanfic.

Once the Lee brothers gained the power to become cyborgs powered by love (Lameo!) I activated my trump card: The awesomeness of Giga Skullmageddon! Love does conquer all, as my dreams and my balls found out the hard way.

Now the city is freed from my rule, people are mocking me and my gang like we are some silly Saturday morning Cartoon villain group and perhaps worst of all Marion was in the arms of that meathead Jimmy Lee. I mean sure he's cool and all that jazz, but wasn't he the Shadow Boss at some earlier point in his career? What even happened to that hot Sonia Romanenko that he used to hang out with? My guess is that his musk drove her off, if his emoness didn't do that first. Geez, you'd think that a guy like that would be a sign to all women that said "Please stay away from me! I have issues that I can't deal with because I suck at life!"

'sigh' Stupid Lee brothers, thinking that they can kick my ass whenever they feel like it. All I wanted was a date with an angel and they made my life Hell in the span of time it takes to have a decent rock concert.

If there's one thing I learned from all of this, it's this simple, yet important rule that I shall never forget as long as I draw breath:

Get insurance that covers "Magical Marital Arts Damage" Old timey pirate gold only takes you so far in this day and age.


End file.
